'Time for change'

So I have now been attempting a new diet with the aid of www.myfitnesspal.com for four days and I have to admit, after doing Weight Watchers on and off for years, this has managed to really get my motivation back up to do this properly and lose some weight, getting fitter and healthier in the process.

I've always had issues with my weight. And I know exactly when I started to gain weight and begin to get just that touch too chubby. And that was when my parents split when I was 6/7. I was literally given whatever I wanted and my way of dealing with the divorce was to eat, and eat I did. Weekends were worst when visiting dad because to please me I would just eat whatever I wanted and he would let me. I would eat portions as a 7 year old that most adults I know can't even comprehend. And I mean a big breakfast that could outdo anyone; a whole pack of bacon, a whole pack of sausages, scrambled eggs made from three eggs, tins of tomatoes, four slices of toast. And that would just be a breakfast. Every single day. So it's no surprise with my huge appetite, the foods I was eating and the massive portions, that I ended up quite a big girl.

Growing up I was pretty much bullied from primary school around year 2 as to my weight. And it's something I've grown to live with for the past 17 years. It was of course as one would expect, a lot worse in secondary school. But I also think the constant bullying (and sometimes physical bullying) made me the strong person I am today, or at least helped to make me who I am. And there some aspects of my 'figure' if you can call it that, that I do like. I like being big busted, I like having a big bottom and hips. I don't entirely hate my body. But that doesn't change the fact there is a lot I would like to change.

I have done Weight Watchers on and off since I was about 17 and I did actually manage to do quite well, losing three stone. But then I got with my now ex boyfriend who was a dealer and all I did for a year was smoke weed and eat take away, all night, every night. So the weight quickly went back on. Since then I have attempted to keep at Weight Watchers but it hasn't really happened. Due to money I decided to stop doing Weight Watchers and instead try My Fitness Pal. So far I'm trying my hardest with it. It is absolutely bizarre counting calories because I have never done this before. But I am hoping that by sticking to it and working hard at the gym, that it pays off.